“How many times have you missed your Sunday phone call?”Another pause, before he moved on below my belly button. Massaging the wash into my hips and cleaning my pubic hair. He ignored my vagina! Then he started on my legs.“Never, I don’t think.”“She already knew, before you told her. Don’t forget, she is possibly the person you have been most intimate with. Oh, don’t look at me like that, intimacy doesn’t always need to involve sex. She held your hand on the brink of death and was still holding it when you fought back. She’s been holding your hand since then and wants to make sure the person joining her next to you is worthy.”“You are!”“We’ll see. Now, are you going to finish washing me?”As he stood up, he turned me side on, cleaning the front and back of one leg. His hands reached the top, one pushing between my cheeks the other moving over my vagina. There was pressure on my anus, but not to push in, he was washing me, at least there. At the front, that was a different story.A. Always hiding away as if I could never understand you. I need clarification and I need closure. It’s either we’re going to be together or we’re going to draw the line, but I can’t stay in between. Not when it hurts so much, David.’ [voice breaks] ‘I can’t be the only one in love alone while you’re taking a stroll on Easy Street. It hurts. I need to know and you’re the only one who can tell me.’ What should I say in response? The truth of the matter is that I can’t give her a clear answer. I refuse to say something that isn’t truthful only to appease her. I owe Ana more than that. I can hear her quiet sobs and all I can say is that it’s tearing me up. She hates crying and she hates it even more when I see her cry. I don’t really know how to cheer her up so I do the first thing that comes to mind. I bring her to my gym for a spa day. She can relax and release stress while getting pampered. This in no way means that I’m avoiding our discussion. I need to get my mind right before..
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